Noël Plummer can’t imagine making a conscious decision to inflict physical pain on her 8-year-old daughter as a punishment. She’s only slapped her daughter once, without thinking, when her then-5-year-old was having an enormous tantrum.
She’s never hit her again.
While she recognizes that physical punishment may encourage immediate fear-based compliance, “I’m interested in my child respecting my authority and decisions, and adopting my values about appropriate behavior,” says Plummer, an attorney living in Albany, California. “When I discipline my child, I am teaching her how to behave appropriately.”
That’s why Plummer uses a rewards system for positive behaviors and regular “time-ins” where she gives her daughter her undivided attention. She also decides what behavior she wants and gives her daughter advanced notice of what to expect — no surprises in her home.
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