8 Things to Say When Someone Lies to You

When someone you care about lies to you, you’ll probably feel betrayed, furious—and maybe even foolish, because how could you possibly have been duped like that? “People start to question themselves and how they could be so oblivious,” says Christian L. Hart, a professor of psychology at Texas Woman’s University, where he leads the Human Deception Laboratory.

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One of the main reasons people lie—especially women—is to maintain cohesion in important relationships. They might want to make their partner feel better, or, however misguidedly, believe their fib is improving the relationship. “You don’t want to push them away accidentally, because their goal isn’t to drive you away. Their goal is to pull you closer,” says Kevin Colwell, a professor of psychology at Southern Connecticut State University who researches deception.

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