There’s a Name for the People Who Drain You

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The PNAS study didn’t measure what, precisely, hasslers do that is so annoying. But Karen S. Rook, a UC Irvine psychologist who was not involved with the study but who has researched similar phenomena, told me that her study participants frequently complain about people who fail to provide help when it’s needed, or who provide it in a grudging way. (Sometimes, Rook noted, people keep hasslers in their life because of how much they do need help, even if the help is imperfect.) Hasslers might also be overly critical, or exclude others from social activities. Or they might try to sabotage their friends—by egging them on to drink when they’ve sworn off the stuff, for instance, or to eat doughnuts when they’re avoiding sugar.

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