The Right Attitude to Gratitude

Have you ever reflected on what an ungrateful wretch you are? Instead of being thankful that a delicious beverage awaits at your favorite coffee shop, you fume because the person ahead in line ordered a caramel macchiato frappe oatmeal horchata with a splash of macadamia milk, and is now paying for it in nickels.

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A second intervention, devised by the psychologist Martin Seligman, involves writing letters of gratitude to others, telling the recipient in each case specifically what you’re thankful to them for. Seligman shows that the happiness effects this affords the thanker persist for a long time—even until a six-month follow-up by the researchers—probably because of an enhanced relationship with the person receiving the letter. The effect on the person being thanked is also profound, and this holds even when the person knows you’re writing a thank-you letter not spontaneously but as a deliberate happiness practice. Seligman, who is a longtime mentor of mine, and someone whom I greatly admire, last year wrote me an email of appreciation himself, totally unbidden. That made my month.

Read the whole story (subscription may be required): The Atlantic