My Sister Is Autistic and Nonverbal. Here Are 3 Ways I Connect With Her

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“It’s a mess,” said Catherine Lord, the George Tarjan Distinguished Professor of Psychiatry and Education in the David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA, whose work focuses on autism and related disorders.

Part of the confusion is that some people who can say a handful of words are still classified as nonverbal, though the term minimally verbal may be more appropriate, Lord said. Some disability advocates also argue that nonspeaking is more accurate, as it pertains to words rather than other verbal noises or vocal stimming, a common self-soothing technique for people with autistic that involves making repetitive sounds or noises.

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“Sometimes we feel better if we talk, but often we talk too much,” Lord said, noting that people who are minimally verbal or nonverbal may not always want to connect through conversation in the way neurotypical people expect. One of her patients, a man in his 30s who’s minimally verbal, prefers expressing himself through facial expressions because speaking requires significant effort. “For him, talking is work,” Lord said. “Whereas for me, talking is an expression of how I feel.”

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