“Be kind to yourself.” If you keep good company, someone has probably uttered these words to you at some point, maybe during a particularly hard spell, or at a time when you were being a little too harsh on yourself. It’s always sound advice—irksome though it may be to hear at the time—but new research published in Psychological Science reveals it’s especially apropos when you’re dealing with a broken heart. Self-compassion, according to researchers, may just be the secret to bouncing back after a breakup.
In the study, researchers met with recently divorced people to assess how they were coping. They noticed that some people were much better able to move on without their relationship woes interfering in their day-to-day life—and the effects continued for nine months after the initial visit. Their secret? They were nice to themselves.
The good news is that whether you’re naturally nice to yourself or not—it can be learned.
“Self-compassion is a perspective people can take with respect to difficult experiences in their life,” says lead researcher David A. Sbarra, PhD, associate professor of psychology at the University of Arizona. That means instead of beating yourself up for your mistakes or shortcomings when times are tough, says Dr. Sbarra, try to view what you’re going through as part of the overall human experience, with its inherent highs and lows.
Read the whole story: Prevention